Berta Vasquez | 93 — 80 Over 80

Berta Vasquez has led a hard life. She immigrated from El Salvador with her husband, who soon left her fending for herself. She has worked hard in sewing factories, and at this stage of her life is dealing with multiple health issues and an impending move. She bravely talks about feeling lonely and depressed. She also talk about how, in general, she loves San Francisco for all the resources for older people and she has had many good times, especially traveling and going to her senior center activities, pre-pandemic, at On Lok’s 30th Street Senior Center.

Please know that we connected with her social system after this interview to help make sure she is getting the support she needs.

This interview is in Spanish and a translation is below. Subtitles will be available shortly.

Interview date: 02/18/22

Interviewed by: Anna Chodos

Referred by: Sarah Arnold, Little Brothers Friends of the Elderly

Edited by Anna Chodos and True Medusa Pictures.

Translation of interview with time stamps

by Linguaficient

Berta Vasquez: My name is Bertha Flores Vazquez, and I am 94 years old.

[0:07] I came here to San Francisco in 1972. And, well, my husband left me, and I ended up alone, so I started working in factories, in Aero Vogue and Grande B.

[0:27] I don't feel well sometimes because I’m too sick. I have a bit of everything, like they do at the pharmacy.

[0:38] I feel hopeless, I feel very lonely and I’m starting to get depressed. I don't feel like doing anything anymore and I feel like I don't want to eat or do anything.

[:52] Yes, there are two girls that come to help. One of them comes on the weekend and the other one Monday through Friday. But from 7am to 12pm. After that, they leave and I’m alone.

[1:02] But I’ve taken some falls overnight. It's difficult for me to get back up. I’ve had to call 911 many times.

They had to come in through the window because the first time they broke the door so now they come in through the window. [1:19] They gave me this emergency button; you just press it down and then the ambulance comes.

Interviewer: Better not touch it then. (laughs)

Berta Vasquez: [1:34] So yes, I am alone, just God is with me.

So many friends I used to have, and now there’s only her, Berta and la chapuda Maria Mejia who worked with me, and she asks about me. But my children don't call and if I call them, they don't pick up. So, that’s why I tell you that I am alone, alone.

[1:56] Well I used to work at the factories, I worked at two of them. Until one day when a car hit me. It was Chinese New Year, and I was crossing the street when a car hit me, and I couldn’t work. Broke my big toe and I worked with that foot. [2:19] And I was dead for a few minutes, just lying there for a bit, I could hear “Doña Berta, Doña Berta” and then I came to. So, yes, my life has been bitter.

[2:33] I didn't want to come here, but my husband wanted to take the house in El Salvador from me, so he brought me over here.

[2:42] And then he divorced me and married my sister-in-law. Maybe he wanted a divorce because he wanted the house, but he didn’t give the house to her or me, but to the kids. I think they sold it over there in El Salvador. Who knows?

[2:55] So I ended up having nothing.

Interviewer: [3:02]How would you describe yourself to others? Well, you know how some people say they like to talk a lot…

Berta Vasquez: [3:15] Well, I used to be very active at the center. I used to go to all the sessions. But now I don’t. There’s also a place where they take care of you, right? They pick you up and bring you back.

[3:30] But I was told that it wasn’t for me, told me I was still very active, but I think now would be the right time for me, now it’s probably time.

[3:42] I used to enjoy being there from 9 to 5 and there used to be a lot of activities. It hasn't reopened, it’s closed and even though the other centers have already opened. Not them.

[3:57] I would go there because it’s difficult to find people to take care of you, they don't want to do anything for you, and they still want to get paid.

[4:08] I can’t find someone to take care of me at night. If I could I would have to pay. And during the day it’s until 5 pm and they can’t give me more hours.

[4:20] But, yes, I used to be very active at the center. I was 44 when I got there so I was active.

[4:30] I used to have a lot of friends but who knows where they are now.

Interviewer: [4:38] What do you think about San Francisco?

Berta Vasquez: It's wonderful! It’s great to be a senior in San Francisco because you get help from everywhere. The way they take care of you.

[4:51] I'm happy, even if I go out by myself, I know there's a lot of people who would help me so I can’t complain. [5:02] Even though I get very little money because I used to earn very little.

When I started working, I used to earn $1.75/hr. It was low pay for sewing. The last I made was $4.50 and now the girls that care for me make $18.

[5:20] It was tough for me because the work, because the work was cheap, being a seamstress, wasn't well paid.

Interviewer: [5:30]What are some of your favorite places in the city?

Berta Vasquez: [5:33]Here?

Interviewer: Yeah.

Berta Vasquez: [5:36] Well, I don't really go out much. When I used to work, I went to Europe, that was it. I liked it a lot. [5:42] I went to Italy too; you can see the photo albums there of my trip.

Interviewer: No, but in San Francisco, where do you like to go?

Berta Vasquez: [5:55] Yes, well I haven’t been out much. The center use to take us out, they would take us to Mazatlán, to Sausalito — everywhere.

Interviewer: [6:05] Really? And, in the city here, how has life changed since covid for you?

Berta Vasquez: [6:17] Oh, I haven’t been out since that’s been going on. Since I don't work anymore, I don't have to go out. But I haven't gotten sick.

[6:25] I already got my three vaccines, and I also got the flu vaccine.

The girl who has been taking care of me, she has a cold right now and I haven't gotten it.

And all 3 of them have had it.

[6:39] But, yes, it's going to get worse because everything is expensive. It's so, so expensive.

Interviewer: [6:47] Expensive? Like things?

Berta Vasquez: Yes, everything is so expensive. Things have gone up. [6:52] Like avocados, all of that, everything has gone up. So, money is not enough.

Interviewer: [7:03] No? So, for you what's a typical day like?

Berta Vasquez: [7:08] It's very nice, I like to have fun when I can, but I can't go out by myself anymore. If the girls are here, we go out, but if not, I stay in because I fall easily.

Interviewer: [7:22]Do you mean you would fall easily?

Berta Vasquez: Yes.

Interviewer: [7:30] So, you mainly stay at home.

Berta Vasquez: [7:32] Yes, I’ve been here. It’s been 2 years I haven’t been out, since covid I’ve been shut in.

Interviewer: [7:38]What do you expect from the future?

Berta Vasquez: [7:41] Oh, no I don't expect anything, I’m just waiting for my time to go. I don't have any hope of anything because my children don't pay attention to me, I can't be alone by myself because I’m ill. I'm just waiting for my time to come [8:00] I’m just waiting to kick the bucket.

[8:03] But I have everything ready for it, but I just want Mariachis on that day. And my friends are not going to be there either because I don't have friends anymore. [8:15] So I don't have any future going forward.

[8:20] My mother and my grandmother reached a hundred, and active. But not me.

Interviewer: [8:25] What has stuck out for you about the aging process?

Berta Vasquez: [8:31] Oh no, for me it has been a happy experience. And I like it because everyone helps me, like when I am on the bus or something like that, and people help me cross the street. It's nice to be old.

[8:47] Because people help you. Look, this girl is so sweet taking care of me, she calls me, she visits me often and all. And there's another girl, I call her chapuda because she is rosy-cheeked, she took care of me for three years. She's also in touch and then there is the other girl, Berta —she calls me every day.

[9:13] So I am happy being old.

But not as happy as my mom and my grandmother were. They were strong and they died from old age not because they were sick. [9:27] I have everything, so I feel sad. Also, because we're not connected. [9:37] And I get SSI, the money I get is very little.

Interviewer: [9:46] How do you make ends meet?

Berta Vasquez: [9:49] I’m frugal. I eat rice and beans. I’m used to it. When I was single, I went to a boarding school and that’s the food we were given. [10:02] I went to school at Maria Auxiliadora in El Salvador. And I finished when I was 19, no 18 years old. Then I trained to be a seamstress. [10:15] I got married at 20 and had my first child at 21.

[10:21] But nowadays, I cook soup and it lasts me two, three days. Now that I’ve lost my appetite. [10:32] And clothes…My son’s wife is Peruvian, and she used to bring me clothes.

[10:42] After finishing school, I trained to be a seamstress. I used to sleep there at the shop. [10:50] Once I learned, my mother got me a sewing machine and we started sewing together and she would keep all the money. So that’s why I got married right away because she didn’t let me keep my money. [11:02] My mother had 12 children. So, she wanted me to help her to support everyone. [11:14] And so I had to work hard. Day and night for several seasons: December, August and Holy Week I would spend nights working.

[11:27] When I was young, I wasn’t allowed to have a lot of friends.

[11:34] I don’t even know what the market is like in El Salvador. I didn’t go out. And it was the same here, cooped up working, even weekends. [11:51] I was lucky to have visited places with the center, otherwise I wouldn’t have gone anywhere else.

[12:02] I am very bland—like bread with no butter, right?

[12:10] Interviewer: Is there anything that has made you feel happy recently?

Berta Vasquez: [12:15] Recently? Hmmm... well, the happiness I feel is that I am thankful that I at least have someone that takes care of me. They help me out a bit. But that’s it.

[12:29] If these girls stop working, I want to go there to the center. They pick you up and bring you back. They send someone to do laundry. And over there, the doctors and everything are there on 30th. [12:49] If these girls leave, I want to go there. Because I would die at a rest home, which makes me sad.

Interviewer: [12:58] Can you repeat that, please?

Berta Vasquez: [13:00] My son wants to put me in a rest home, where they keep you until you die. Like at Laguna Honda, or others. But, no, that would make me sad to be there.

Interviewer: [13:12] You are not interested in that.

Berta Vasquez: [13:15] I don’t say no because who knows how it is. I’m in no mood to keep going, you know? [13:25] I’m just waiting for my time to come.

[13:31] And I am worried because these children don’t answer the phone. One says he will throw my ashes in the water, and I said no, not the water, I have a grave. [13:44] And the little one, if he dies before there won’t be anyone to bury me.

Interviewer: [13:50] Can you tell me about a moment that changed your life, a moment of a lot of –yes, stress– meaning.

Berta Vasquez: [14:00] The only one was going to Europe, the happiest moment. That my feet walked where Jesus walked. [14:08] And then, with the center, they took us to Mazatlan, Sausalito, and several places. [14:18] I’ve had a happy life here in San Francisco. If I were in El Salvador, who knows, but here, I feel like the happiest woman. [14:28] Only thing is the depression I have right now…

Interviewer: [14:31] Thank you so much, thank you for doing this.

Berta Vasquez: [14:35] Thank you, are you going to drink some tea?

Interviewer: Let’s drink tea!

Berta Vasquez: Chamomile tea.