Alexander Chung | 82
Alexander Chung moved to San Francisco with her husband at the time in 1962. The separated a few years after, and she describes traveling around the country and enjoying the times when San Francisco was more affordable. She reflects on dealing with loneliness and the challenges of meeting new people when, at this stage in her life, she feels less safe.
This interview is in Korean, and a translation is below.
Interview date: 2/20/22
Interviewed by: Andrew Kim
Referred by: Dr. Ann Kim
Edited by True Medusa Pictures. Music by Soundology.
Translation of interview
by Andrew Kim
Interviewer: Can you tell me your name and age?
Alexander Chung: My name is Chung Alexander, and I’m 82 years old.
Interviewer: Do you have a Korean Name?
Alexander Chung: Kim Jung Ok. When I married my husband, I changed my name to Chung Alexander, but after I got divorced, I kept my name. So people still call me Chung Alexander. But originally, I was called Kim Jung Ok.
Interviewer: When and why did you come to San Francisco?
Alexander Chung: My husband brought me over to the States back in 1962. That was when I was young.
Interviewer: How old were you back then?
Alexander Chung: 22 years old... I think.
Interviewer: Were there things you enjoyed in San Francisco back then?
Alexander Chung: Not too many. After getting divorced with my husband, I traveled around the country, like New York, Philadelphia, Chicago... I was young, so nothing scared me. But now that I’m old, I get lonely and scared. I’ve been feeling especially lonely these days, but I’m also scared of meeting people too.
Interviewer: Was the San Francisco back then different from the San Francisco now?
Alexander Chung: It was so so different. Back then, San Francisco was so small and the buildings were few. But things have changed since. A lot of time has passed.
Interviewer: Before coming to San Francisco, where did you live in Korea?
Alexander Chung: Kyonggi Province, Gapyeong. I was born there. My father moved to Seoul and we lived in Meari Hill. And when I was fourteen months old, my mother left the house, leaving me and my family behind. So, my father remarried, and I was raised under a stepmother.
Interviewer: Do you remember your first impression of America?
Alexander Chung: I was disappointed! It was a lot more rural than I thought. For 4 months, I stayed inside a closet, crying. My husband tried to console me when I locked myself in that closet. And then in 1968, I divorced my husband. I was so young and wanted to get around, whereas my husband was a very straight-edged person. I didn’t like that about him, which is why we separated.
Interviewer: Are there places in San Francisco that you go to a lot?
Alexander Chung: The few places I go to are the pharmacy in CVS, some Korean restaurants here. That’s how I live.
Interviewer: What does your day-to-day life look like?
Alexander Chung: I just take it one day at a time. I don’t think too much about tomorrow – I look at each day and tell myself, “this is how I lived.”
Interviewer: I wanted to ask, since I’m young...
Alexander Chung: Of course you’re young! You’re in your youth.
Interviewer: When you look back at your life, do you have any advice for younger generation folks like me?
Alexander Chung: Don’t smoke! Don’t do drugs. That’s what I want to say. That’s all. But would anybody listen to an old person like me? They probably want to do what they want to do, because that’s what I did when I was younger. Nobody told me what to do.
Interviewer: Looking back, when is a time that you miss the most?
Alexander Chung: No, not really. I’ve lived the way I wanted. I might be different from other grandmas. They all have kids, but I don’t. I’m just by myself, all alone. It’s just me, and sometimes, I feel sorry for myself. And this is just the way I live now.
Interviewer: You mentioned loneliness in sharing your thoughts. Loneliness is something everybody feels, myself included. What do you do when you become lonely?
Alexander Chung: I watch those DVDs, I watch TV shows... I’m just busy!
Interviewer: You mentioned you were different from other grandmas. I’m curious to hear if you had any major values or principles that you abided by growing up. What were those?
Alexander Chung: Yes, I do! In a way, I’ve always been lonely. My biological mother left when I was 14, and I was beat by both my stepmother and my father. When I think about my father, I don’t even produce tears. I was abused as a child! Every day was a beating. I know, I was young and may have been immature, but you don’t do that to a young child. So, I ran away when I was 9 and lived in various country sides throughout Korea since then. There wasn’t a single place I haven’t been to! I was also very smart when I was young. If I studied, I could’ve been someone brilliant by now. My life has been totally different from that of others, and I’m very aware of that. So I don’t have friends, I’m scared of making friends... and it can feel really lonely.
Interviewer: Since coming to the United States, have you ever visited Korea?
Alexander Chung: 1972. My father passed away. But I didn’t know that. At the time, I had about $50,000 in savings from work. So, I went back to Korea to see my father. My younger brother, Jung-Gu came to greet me, but his face already looked...off. I knew right then, so I asked him, “did father pass away?” and he said, “how did you know?” I knew just from his facial expression. He told me our father passed away three months ago. He apparently said my name right before he passed.
Interviewer: What jobs did you have since moving to San Francisco in the 60s?
Alexander Chung: Babysitting – that’s how I learned English, from talking to kids. I also worked in factories, housekeeping... at that time, I only paid rent $25 a month for a studio! I think about that time quite often.
Interviewer: What times come to mind the most?
Alexander Chung: The times when things were cheap!
Interviewer: Around when was this?
Alexander Chung: Around 1964. 63 or 64. Oh man, how fun were those times. I had a lot of fun.
Interviewer: This was when you were in San Francisco. How exactly where these times fun? Did you travel around San Francisco a lot, did you meet a lot of people, or...?
Alexander Chung: I met a lot of people, and that’s also how I learned English. By talking to Americans, I learned English. Many people back then would say, “wow Ma’am, you’re so good at English!” but then again, look at how long I’ve been in America! 58 or 59 years. But if I studied, I would’ve been better at it. But even though I didn’t study, I don’t have any problem communicating.
Interviewer: Is there time that you remember the most from the days when you had the most fun?
Alexander Chung: I guess when I had boyfriends...those memories still stick. Whenever I had boyfriends, I was the one who would break up with them, never the other way around! That made me bored. I would date for about 2-3 months, realize that I’m not being myself, so then I would say goodbye and move on. I had my own dignity. I had no problem!
I don’t have a boyfriend now (I guess I’m also quite old), but back when I was young, I was pretty sexy. So a lot of men would chase after me. But now, men don’t look at me anymore (laughs).
Interviewer: Out of the boyfriends you’ve had in the past, is there one that you miss the most or want to see again?
Alexander Chung: Not really.
Interviewer: I see... just leave the past be past.
Alexander Chung: But there is one thing that I regret. You know what I regret? I should have never left my husband. He was a wonderful man. He spoiled me so much. I broke up with a man who was so good to me. I was someone who tired of people easily.
Interviewer: How long were you two married?
Alexander Chung: I married him in 1959.
Interviewer: You two met in Korea?
Alexander Chung: Yes, in Korea.
Interviewer: How did you two meet?
Alexander Chung: I was working in the U.S. Army base’s laundromat at the time. And then I met my husband. My husband shouldn’t have married me, but he was adamant about marrying me. He said he would die if it wasn’t me! So he brought me over to America.
Interviewer: What made you move to America, exactly?
Alexander Chung: My husband was discharged to San Francisco. He was actually trying to reenlist – we were planning to go to Germany – but my husband changed his mind. So we didn’t go. My husband was so so good to me, but I didn’t appreciate it. Now, I have so much regret. Why did I leave a man that was so kind... that’s my biggest regret.
Interviewer: Have you kept in contact with your husband at all after the separation?
Alexander Chung: No. He used to work in United Airlines, as a supervisor in the Lost & Found section. My husband was a well-educated man. He was a year above me. I was 22, he was 23. That was then... I don’t know if he’s alive or not now.
Interviewer: And you haven’t remarried since?
Alexander Chung: No. I’ve had boyfriends, a few, and then I got bored of them (laughs). But now, I don’t even think of men. I’m too old.
Interviewer: If there is anything you want to say to your ex-husband, what would it be?
Alexander Chung: That I’m sorry. That I’m sorry for hurting his heart. I wish I could’ve said that to him. How would I have come to the States if it weren’t for him? At that time, there was no way you could come to the States if you didn’t marry an American man. And I hurt someone who was so kind like him... I feel so sorry for that, even to this day. If I could meet him in person and truly apologize to him for what I’ve done, I would die happy. But there’s no way to meet him.
Interviewer: I’m certain he knows how you feel towards him, too.
Alexander Chung: No way... from last I’ve heard, he’s married a different woman. I’m happy knowing that he’s met someone who’s just as nice as him. That’s all I need. But even so, I wish there was a way to apologize to him.
Interviewer: I now have one last question. What would you say to yourself in your twenties, knowing what you know now?
Alexander Chung: I don’t know, to be honest. When I think about my past, I just bat those thoughts away.